A tale of peesticks

I started feeling queasy around 5 days past transfer (10dpo) also sore boobs, but put it down to progesterone. I started testing and had a faint faint line. didnt show DH as I knew he'd not see it. but figure it could still have been trigger.
tested day 11, very slightly darker, still almost impossible to see, showed DH and he could see it, but we thought its still possible to be trigger or just evap
day 12 about the same as 11, but did a second one in evening, was darker.
this went on, the morning the same as the night before, but then darker in evening until the day before beta day (15). I didn't test beta day (16) as I knew we would get a BFP. I got my blood taken at 10am and waited..and waited..
Finally at 3.30pm my nurse calls. Im so sorry, but your test is negative. I'm in disbelief. I tell her Ive been getting lines and she says, your test came back as 3, its definately negative. It sounds like the embryo tried to implant, but its failed. She tells me to make an apoointment with doctor to sort out using the frozen embryo.
Im in shock, 2 minutes later DH rings to see if shes called yet. I burst into tears on the phone and we are both in shock. He comes home early from work and we sit numbly looking at the pee sticks we have..I take another one and its about the same as the one we had the day before. I cried on and off all the rest of the day and night. I took the night off work as I knew i was just a mess.

 I prayed to god to take away the pain and the yearning to be parents as it was pretty clear we weren't destined to have babies. I dreamt I was sitting crying being held by Jesus (I am not a religeous person, i don't go to church etc) being told it will be ok.
The next day I felt good and I took another pee stick and it was darker!!! I sent the pic to my nurse and asked her what she thought and should I have another blood test. she wrote back that it was weird and it won't hurt to get another one done. She emailed me a pathology slip and i took it to get blood at 9.30am and waited..and waited. Here's a pic of the sticks

Finally at 4.15pm she calls. She sounds grim. She says your test results were dramatically different to wednesdays. Then she tells me shes getting the lab to run wednesdays again and compare them and see if they can see whats happened. I just butt in with what was my number..it is 547!! I definately am pregnant. She is so appalled at how wrong they got it and says shes so glad I kept testing. So im 4 and a bit weeks, super early and anything can happen, but for now I am pregnant!
My nurse said she will tell me what happened when she finds out. But I have no idea if I get another blood test or what happens next, I'm assuming she will tell me on Monday.

yep..BFP!!

woo hoo, i tested again today and while its still a faint line, its certainly darker than yesterday! I told hubby who simply grinned. We know its super early, we know anything could happen, but its so good to have got to Step 2.

Step 1- Have IVF
Step 2 Get pregnant
Step 3 grow baby to full term
Step 4 give birth to live healthy baby
Step 5 grow baby into child
Step 6 Grow child to Adult

DH told me he saw my mum down the street and he told her we got a light line..lol. She will be excited!

I may have a BFP!

I'm 10dpo or 5dp5dt in IVF speak..lol. I decided to pee on a stick and got a faint second line. Its possible its the trigger..its possible its an evap, but it gives me hope. Ive been feeling a bit queasy and had some sharp poke type pains in my belly. Please God, let this be our time!

PUPO!

 We transfered one perfect blastocycst and froze one. 2 others are being watched, but hes not confident they will be good enough to freeze. RE said the 2 blasts are the best quality we've had so far, so fingers crossed! He agreed with us going for one only. He said hes had people transfer 2 of this quality and end up with triplets. I honestly wouldn't mind twins, but the risks for their health and our safety and finances make us prefer one baby at a time.

So I am now Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. I have already had a nap, which i never do. I woke up roasting hot, i took my temp and it was 37.07, which is a bit hot. My normal post O temp has reached 37.05 before, but its usually high 36's. Im sure it will be fine, but theres a tiny bit of a worrywart in me that worries I cooked the embryo..arghh. I'm going to go look at fertility friend charts and see how high people's temps have gotten! edited, its fine..saw some charts with 37.9. worrying has ceased.

 I had accupuncture before (accupuncturist forgot to tell his wife he had an 8am client, so she decided to be nice and let him sleep in and so he was still in bed when we got there..lol) and after.I bought some walnuts and I'm laying down. Thats all im doing. whatever will be will be!

Eggs and Embryos, Oh My!

I had egg pick up yesterday. 8 eggs! One more than both other cycles so thats very exciting. I hoped and prayed that at least 6 of them would fertilize and I got my wish. 6 embryos growing in a petrie dish. I will be having a 5 day transfer on Saturday. Just have to decide if we will go with a single or a double transfer. My doc has always said only one, two doesn't give you any more chances. twins have complications..but now he says oh lets try 2..but we have the fear of two now..we have a few days to decide~!

scan details

Had my follicle count scan yesterday. This is really just for myself to remember incase I lose the bit of paper with it on.
 Uterus is anteverted, endometium is proliferate and 13.6mm thick
Left ovary has 6 follicles, 18, 20 , 14, 15, 12 and too small to bother with
Right ovary has 4 follicles, 16,11,22 and too small. technician said there were lots of other tiny ones.

So by that I should get 8 eggs at retrieval on Monday morning at 10am..have to be at the hospital at 8.30am, I moaned about it being so early, but my lovely nurse said that she put me last and thats actually the latest..how nice that she knows I don't do mornings heehee. I just had my ovi drel trigger shot. Did it myself as DH is at work. Iced it up and it was easy. I took advice and injected slowly and it barely stung at all..I will definately try that when it comes to using the clexane.

Had a cuddle of a beautful 3 week old baby boy today. Im hoping i rubbed enough baby dust onto myself..hee hee

My Hubby loves me

My hubby does my injections. I don't like the idea of putting a needle in myself..I can't even look when he does it and much prefer to close my eyes. I have done them myself in the past, but i don't like it and it usually takes a while to get the courage to actually stab myself. So last night I was dreading having to do it myself at work. But my lovely hubby left his poker game to come into work just to inject me..nawwww.. He loves me and I loves him

IVF cycle #3

Started stims today. Even though Ive had the pill and synarel over the last month  I don't really feel like Ive started IVF until the stims. First stim went well. Ive felt some weirdness in the side we injected (DH does the actual injection, but I wipe it with alcohol..so I can say WE..lol)  im imagining its doing its thing in there. I would love to get more than 7 eggs this time (both other cycles got 7), but reality says Im a year older than I was last time, so it will in all likelyhood be less. I can hope though, you never know.

I had planned on losing a bunch of weight before this IVF..I did lose a little. went from 79kgs to 76kgs, which is the weight I was the first time we did IVF. Id still like to drop a few more, but I just seem to be too lazy. The weather has been pretty hideous lately, but today the sun is shining..perhaps I will take a walk after I eat my lunch. You have to start sometime with new habits right?? Why is it that eating fruit & veg and doing lots of exercise sounds great in your head, but reality has you sitting on the couch eating a chocolate cookie..i need to pull out m finger and make my reality the same as my head

Ýesterday I had a call from my naturopath just to see how I was going. Today my accupuncturist called to see how I was going. Thats so nice. You don't get that from medical doctors.

Yesterday was busy..lol

AF arrived yesterday, so now Im on day 2 of my new cycle..I was supposed to star the pill day one..but I completely forgot..I was also supposed to call my nurse..forgot about that too..whoops..does this mean I have pre preggo brain??LOL

I got my blood test results yesterday and the report said normal for vitamin D, but reading the actual report, I am mildly deficient. My results are 40, but it says the minimum is 50 and ideal is greater than 75. I'm going to assume my specialist only read normal and didn't read the rest as Vit D is important for fertility. Luckily I was seeing my naturopath yesterday, so she has organised some high potency Vit D for me..the shop is out of it of course, but they should have it in stock Friday.

Also yesterday i got my letter saying Im due for a pap smear, so Ive booked that in for 3 weeks (oh boy..) so will get her to retest my Vit D and make sure its gone up.

Ok, thats about it..Id better go call my nurse!

New cycle!

I just had my RE consult..5 minutes on the phone and its going to cost me $80!!! cripes..grr.
anyway, there's good news and bad news..lets get the bad over first..one of my tests came back negative..or positive..whichever way means I have the problem..I have factor 5 leiden which is a blood clotting issue. Its inherited and can cause miscarriages.
good news is that it can be treated during pregnancy, so we are back in with a chance. He said it wasn't definate that thats the problem, but its the only thing that showed up, so hes going to treat that.
So I'm cycling July as expected with EPU July 16th. He decided hes going to use ICSI and..wait for it...do a double transfer!! He has been always against doing 2..so its interesting that hes changed his mind! I should get my period next week and start the pill then.

So I just messaged my accupuncturist to get some accu in before I cycle..hes away June 9 to 30th..I think hes been away at some point in each cycle ive ever done..lol.

Having an actual date should help my resolve to drop a few kilos. 6 weeks to go, I should be able to lose at least 3kgs, hopefully 4, but i guess it will depend what the pill does to me..sometimes i bloat, sometimes i don't.

Due Date :(

Today was the due date for our first FET baby that we lost at 10 weeks. Sleep well little one.

infertility recap

 I just had my third MC almost 3 weeks ago..and tommorow is the due date for the baby we MC'd last year. Ugh..I have been TTC #1 for 6 years..its getting tiresome waiting. I thought id do a recap of my journey so far.

 DH and I started TTC in 2006 when I was 34. Before that we had been NTNP for a few years. I figured out about ovulation and assumed during NTNP we had just missed the egg each time.

Then in 2008 just as I was starting to investigate with a doctor why it wasn't happening, i finally got a BFP. We were thrilled, but MC at 6 weeks. We figured it happened once, it would happen again..even the doctor told me youre extra fertile after a MC. So by 2010 and still nothing I decided it was due time to investigate..the doc sent me for bloodwork..all was fine. I was sent to a Gyno who performed a lap/hyst and whatever the other surgery is and she discovered BOTH my fallopian tubes were blocked! She recommended because of my age to go straight to IVF.

So we did our first round of IVF, got 7 eggs, 4 fertilized, one grew to 5 days and was transferred. By this time it was December and the time I should have had my blood test the clinic was closed..I used a pee stick and got a super faint line, but by the time the clinic re opened and i had the blood test it was negative. We tried again..this time my stim dose was doubled to get more eggs, but once again we got 7 eggs..this time only 3 fertilized. One was transferred at day 3 and 2 others were frozen. BFN..so we did the first frozen embryo..it worked. Praise the lord we were pregnant. We saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks. We kept it pretty much to ourselves, a handful of people knew, but at 10 weeks I woke up with a huge gush of blood. I knew in my heart it was over. I found it frustrating when people would try to tell me it was ok because they and their sisters cousins all bled dramatically and their babies were fine. I knew mine wasn't.

3 months later we used the last frozen embryo..it also worked. Praise the lord..third time lucky..this baby would be our little miracle..I knew it would be,.lots of people told me they knew this was it for us..we saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks..the heartrate was a lot stronger in this one..the HSG was higher...but at 8 weeks I had spotting..again I knew it was over..people again told me it would be fine..but i got a scan and there was no longer a heartbeat..I bled it out the next day.

So here I am still..3 pregnancies..no babies..we will try IVF one more time. I just met with a naturopath yesterday who is going to do her best to help. I see my IVF doctor on the 30th..He will do some testing to see if theres a medical reason why our babies miscarry. I so hope its just something simple and can be fixed!

Beta #2- 22DPO

My nurse didn't tell me exact, she said Its Just over 2500..that works out good for the doubling time. I used one of those doubling time calculators and it said about 38 hours.

Thats it for my nurse..she said I will have to book in a scan and then get the results for my doctor..it seems a bit sad that they don't get to go the whole journey with you. I know their job is to get you pregnant, but I guess over the whole IVF journey your nurse is there, then once you acheive pregnancy, they drop away and move on to their next patients. It must make them sad too, especially when they see someone for over a year..well I will be sending her my scans etc..I don't know if they want them, but my congratulations letter said they are required to find out results etc..so i figure I'll send them in.

Ive been feeling a bit horrible on and off the last couple of days..part of me is YAY..but the rest of me is..ugh..if its like this already..whats it going to be like in a few weeks..lol. Ive been making myself go to the gym..I modify what I do..and skip a lot of the machines..but i know if i don't go, then i'll spend the next 8 months on the couch becoming potato like in every way!

1st Beta

Wow, im finally able to post..blogger has been naughty to me and not letting me post here or on other blogs..grrr. But the glitch seems to be fixed now! yay

I got my first beta yesterday at 15dpo..125. Im happy with that..the last pregnancy was at 110 on day 16. I know the number isn't supposed to mean much..but im happy to have a higher number than last time.

11dpt..BFP!!!

Top is the SMU 2 hour hold at 9dpt, then under that is the same day with a 4 hour hold, then the frer FMU at 11dpt. I believe a baby will be born to us around Nov!! OMG..Im thrilled to bits! Ive never had so many symptoms so early before..nausea has been my constant companion these last few days..not complaining at all..i worry if it goes away!

9dpt..I tested

9 days past transfer..11dpo..i gave in and tested. The test i used is an IC and its expiration date is feb 1st. I used SMU with only a 2 hour hold...theres a super faint pink line on it..i could see it within the 5 minute timeframe. OMG..even though Ive felt i was preggers with the high temps..its soo amazing to see it confirmed..i have evap doubts..and the test was just past its expiration..but ive used about 40 tests from this batch and never had an evap...so..woot..i think im up the duff!!

i have one more IC left and 2 frers..i'll use the other IC later today and then the frer on tuesday and wed..then blood test on Friday!!

actually..i realised i had a 4 hour hold and just took the other IC..the line is darker and easy to see!! BFP!!!!

7dpt

well I made it through the first week of the 2 week wait! I know next week will just drag..ahh well I know we will get there eventually.

Today i have felt nauseas most of the day and have had indigestion in the evening. is it weird that im excited to have indigestion..lol.  I have also had a few mild belly cramps.
 Last night i went to bed at midnight, read til almost 1am then went to sleep..woke when i thought it was morning only to find it was 2am..lol whoops..then woke at 7.30am..i had to start work at 9.30..so i just got up..i have been tired, but i think lack of sleep is the real reason for it!

my temperature chart is looking good..its been steadily rising...im usually all over the place..i usually get a peak temp on cd 22 of about 36.70C..i usually get it for one day only..the last 3 days have all been above 36.70C..

So personally, I feel like I will be getting a BFP..i will test on wednesday which will be 13dpo....ok i will probably test before then..but right now.i aim for wednesday. I worry about getting another chemical..or having another MC, but I try to remember what my friend told me..God knows what you want, don't worry about it anymore and leave it to him.

Can't wait to have some pee sticks to show you!!

5dpt

Just a quick update..I think it has worked..I woke up at 3am to pee and found myself to be very sweaty..I never wake at  stupid hours of the morning to pee except the 2 times ive been pregnant!! Same with waking up sweating!!
Also last night at work i felt a bit queasy a few times..and again today.. Oh come on baby..I know youre there, please stick around this time!!

3dp3dt

Hmm, im not 100% sure if my title is correct..my embryos were 3 day embies, but they transferred them 2 days past O instead of 3..and then the emby went from 7 cell down to 4 cell after defrost..so its like its back to 2 day...so..umm..i don't know..its 3 days after transfer anyway..lol

The doctor who put the  emby in is the same one who did the transfer last time. My doctor was away, so i got the on call guy. Hes a nice enough bloke, but OMG, he clearly has no idea about how to be gentle with that speculum thing..just shoved it right in..owchy.  so he's being rough like that, the nurse is pressing down on my full bladder to see with the ultrasound..wasn't at all plesant for a good 10 minutes there..ugh..but we could see the embryo go in this time..most other transfers theyve said there it is..and we can't see what theyre on about..but this time it was super clear. A little white blob. Then it was up and at em..for the 2 hour drive home. I like to think that the vibration of the car will shake the emby into regenerating itself and start to sink into my lining. It ended up taking us 5 hours to get home as we stopped for lunch at my brother's place, stopped for some art supplies, stopped to buy DH some bike pants and stopped to visit a friend who just moved house. then once home i lazed about the rest of the day.

mostly ive been lazing about, but have got up to cook and to vaccum the floors..so im doing half bedrest and half carry on as normal. Im not doing any exercise other than walking for the 2ww, so zumba is out and the gym..i will go back after i know the results..from research ive done, you can carry on with zumba when pregnant, but modify your steps and don't get exhausted..i can do that!

3 day past transfer symptoms: none really. i had a bit of pink/tan cm this morning, but after the doctors rough handling, i did spot for 24 hours, so it could just be a bit of leftover blood..id prefer it to be implant spotting, but its probably too early for that. Ive felt little twinges in my belly, yesterday they were up near my belly button, which is too high to be anything i guess..but it was there..lol im including it. Also this morning was mild nausea and mildly sore nipples..but again, too early to be anything relating to a baby yet. Probably just progesterone symptoms. <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/10d294">My Ovulation Chart</a> My chart temps have gone up in a steady rise, which is nice, but again..too early to mean anything...so in conclusion..no symptoms yet.

Got the paperwork

ok, paperwork for the FET cycle showed up today (Tuesday). It says it must be back a minimum of one week before blood tests commence..but blood tests are starting this Saturday..so thats not going to happen. Mind you, last FET the paperwork went missing until a week after the transfer..so I guess theyre not sticklers for it!

 So Saturday is day 9 of my cycle..i usually O around day 13 or 14..but last cycle it was day 17!! I told my nurse, she says it happens sometimes, especially after all the hormones etc..but shes hopeful it was just a one time thing, she did include one extra blood test request form...so there's 4 of them..I get tested day 9, then day 11..then they decide the rest. If I do O late again, I wonder what they do as Id expect they will test day 13 and 15..i guess I just have to trust they know what theyre doing! I do know my RE will be in my town that week..so maybe if they need an extra one he will do it here for me. (I live 2 hours away from the clinic and they have a satelite clinic in my town every 2 months so we don't have to drive in. All paperwork is posted..but for our natural FET, we will have to drive to the city for the transfer. I hope thats makes sense)

 As for my weight loss I have lost 4.5kilos (about 10 pounds), so Im about halfway to my goal. So far its been good..The diet Im following is pretty much low GI with no starchy carbs. I have missed the  convenience of them (toast for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, potato or pasta in some form for dinner) but not missed it as much as I thought I would. I guess seeing the scales go down has helped! The diet plan allows me to have an indulgence meal once a week, so today I decided to have chicken soup with toast..it was nice..but hours later and OMG!! I am bloated like i have lost no weight at all and gassy..you know those horrible ones that you gag at yourself?? yeah, we know theyre bad when you can't stand them either. Well I have been knocking myself out with the stench all evening. Makes me wonder if I have a gluten problem. It totally makes me want to stick with no bread for a while! I am still hoping to be down about 9 kilos by the end of February.
 I know youre not supposed to diet when youre pregnant..but surely eating this way with lots of vegies, healthy fats and protein and not a lot of sugar and no startchy carbs can't be bad. I will certainly ask when i go in for my transfer! I can't believe its almost time. I can just feel that it will work and we will have a baby by the end of the year. I can't wait to be pregnant again!

January already!!

Wowsers..its almost the middle of Jan already..which means only a month til the FET. I just messaged the nurse as I can't remember when i supposed to contact her for the blood tests. I thought about trying natural this month..but i think id prefer to concentrate on the weight loss and not worry about a growing baby yet.

 I'm on week 4 now of weight loss,..the first week i lost 2.4kgs, the second week nothing (christmas was in that week..so fair enough) the third week I lost 600gms..so ive lost 3 kgs in 3 weeks.

Im undecided if I should do accupuncture for the FET. Last time i didn't do it and I got pregnant..but i had been doing it for a year up to that point..I haven't had accupuncture since about June last year..decisions decisions.